that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize