Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
