Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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