Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
