As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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