Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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