It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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