i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
