I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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