To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
