thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
