That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
