Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
