No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
