Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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