thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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