Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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