he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
