i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
