Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
