Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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