he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
