when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
