he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
