It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there was a trapeze. enough said
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
