Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
