Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
