remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
