he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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