I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
