My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
