South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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