It's like God shit irony all over that family
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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