Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
