she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
