therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
