THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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