And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
