I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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