physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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