Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
