do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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