I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
