I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
