Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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