oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize