I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
