I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
