I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
