Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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