where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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