there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
