idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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