So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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