he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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