I understand Curling. That high.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize