You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
