I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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