Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
