I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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