Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
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I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
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